our hearts are broken but yet we know . . .

Life is so hard.  We have cried many tears since 12:09 on Sunday morning when the phone rang.  When the phone rings in the middle of the night it is rarely good news and this was no exception.  We received word that our sweet friend had died unexpectedly in an accident in her home.  I was looking through some of my pictures tonight and came across this one of Butch.  Look at her smiling face.  She is on the left in the red shirt.  She and her daughter, Mary hosted a shower for Glenn and Lauren in December 2010 and this picture was taken that night. 

I want to tell you a little about Butch but I don't even know where to begin.  I've been trying to think of my first memories of her and I think it was back when Mary was in college and Butch and I were in a weight loss/Bible study group together at church.  I remember liking her a lot.  Over the years our friendship grew and our families intertwined.  I was right in the middle.  Butch was 15 years older and Mary was 15 years younger.  Butch was like me (Mary, too).  We are loud and we laugh a lot and we talk a lot.  When Laura and Glenn were six years old, Mary started babysitting for us.  Butch and Mark's momma were off on some trip together . . .somewhere around the world . . .perhaps in Egypt . . .climbing a pyramid.  No, really.  They were.  Mary babysat for us until we didn't need a babysitter anymore.  She would put our kids in the car and head off on an adventure.  Our kids adored her.  They called her "miss mary."  So our families now had a multi-generational friendship.

Butch was so generous.  She was generous with her money and she was generous with her time.  She was chairman of a circle for years . . .until all the little ladies died off . . .and she was MUCH younger than those little ladies.  That was her ministry at the time.

oh my next memory of Butch was another circle memory.  I was in the "young mother's" circle which meant we were a daytime circle and a nursery for our children was provided.  If you don't know what a circle is . . .it is a group of United Methodist Women that meets monthly.  Butch was not a young mother but she was keeping her brother's young child and she needed a nursery.  I loved getting to know her even more.  Once again she was giving of herself . . .keeping her brother's child.

Butch gave freely.  Just Sunday afternoon . . .hours after she died . . .I was baking a cake and I said to Mark, "Butch gave this measuring cup to me."  Might sound trivial but touches of her are all around us.  She was always thinking of others.

Butch loved Jesus.  Butch loved Jesus so very much.  We were so blessed to be in the same church family and even in the same Sunday school family.  Butch drove Mark's momma to Bible study every Wednesday night.  Butch was always giving of herself.

I started writing this post days ago . . .I still can't write enough . . . I still hurt . . . I know this post is rambling and probably makes sense to no one but to me . . .and maybe some day not even to me . . .but Butch loved to dance and I know that Butch is dancing with Jesus.

My son, Glenn and I had a conversation this week about heaven.  We talked about whether or not we will actually know others in heaven.  Of course, neither of us really has an answer to that question.  I know on a theological level we probably won't know others . . .but this week, I've needed comfort.  This is the same week that my momma died and was buried many years ago - way back when I was 15 . . .there is that number 15 again.  I wonder if Butch met my momma this week.  I hope Butch shared with her that I grew up into a woman who loves Jesus.  I hope they can be friends in  heaven . . . .another link.

Our hearts are broken . . . but we know she is with Jesus.

one of those days??

do you ever have "one of those" days?  You know . . .you wake up . . .you KNOW without a shadow of doubt that you have so much for which to be thankful . . .you know you are loved . . .you know you are forgiven BUT you are just sad.  Do you ever have "one of those" days?  I'm having one today.  I'll be fine.  I'm a "glass half full" person.  My number one strength is positivity.  I'll be fine.  But for the moment I'm sad.  I just am.  I feel like I'm losing a friendship and I don't know how to fix it.  Most of my blog posts are about the fun things that I get to do as a middle-aged mom but sometimes . . .sometimes . . .life is just hard.  That is all there is to it.  Sometimes life is hard.  I think that I always thought that by the time I was "whatever age" I am, there would not be days like this.  Of course, I knew that there would be REALLY sad days.  You know about those kinds of days . . .the days where a close friend dies or someone loses a job.  Those are supposed to be sad days but I don't think I thought there would be days where I would be sad just because I couldn't fix something.  The situation may not have anything at all to do with me.  I often have to remind myself, "This is not about me."  Everything in the world is not about me.  I know that.  I have learned that fact in my "whatever" years I've been on earth.  But sometimes it feels like it is about me and I don't know how to fix it.  Did I say something?  Did I do something?  Does it have anything at all to do with me?  I've tried to "make amends" if amends even need to be made . . .since I don't know if it is "about me" . . .I don't even know how to go about fixing it. 

for the friends who read this and for my sister - I'm not going off the deep end.  You don't have to call me or text me.  I might not even answer because I don't really want to talk.  I'm really ok.  I'm just sad.  I felt like if I sat down and typed out these words, it might be cathartic.  (ok I'm already chuckling a little - just looked up cathartic to make sure I was using it correctly and had spelled it correctly -- the word fits!!) Sad will pass.  Sad will indeed pass (chuckle).  I'll get busy in a little while working on my sunday school lesson and I'll feel the peace of God wash over me.  I'll go out in the sunshine and smile at the pharmacist as I pick up my prescription.  I'll pet the kitty cat and as I hear him purr, I'll feel better.

but for now . . .for right now . . at this moment . . .maybe for the next few hours, I am sad.  plain and simple.  I feel like I'm losing a friend and I don't know how to fix it.  I'm just sad. do you ever have "one of those" days?

Whose da boss?

My plan was to update the blog at least once a week . . .yeah yeah. Life just keeps running so fast and I'm always running trying to keep up!!

Boss's day was Tuesday, October 16. We combined our resources and bought a gift for Ann and we told her not to make lunch plans. Sweet Mary didn't keep our secret and spilled the beans about lunch . . . so it wasn't a surprise but it was still fun! We have lots of great restaurants in Birmingham and one that is a casual dining place - not too expensive and one of my personal favorites is Tazikis. They have great greek salads and other yummy foods and they have a dish called "Friday Pasta" that is really yummy. In the past, you could only purchase it on Friday but it is so popular that you can now get it all weekend (and if you have them cater an event or dinner, you can get it during the week!!) It is made up of chunks of chicken and balsamic dressing and ziti pasta.  Yummy!  I don't remember the name of what I ordered that day but it had chick peas in it (I love chick peas) . . .but they forgot the chick peas . . . so the waitress brought me a little cup of chick peas!! 

We loaded up into our cars (everyone fit in my car except Amy and she decided to ride alone and listen to her music!!). Kristi was able to meet us there and Phella came and answered the phones in the office so that we could all go. I think Ann felt appreciated and we sure do appreciate her. I've worked for some crazy people over the years and Ann is indeed a kind and fair boss. She puts up with a lot of crap from all of us and she still loves us!! Here is the group (minus the one behind the camera!) waiting on lunch!!  See the take out container on the table?  Ginger purchased strawberry cupcakes from her friend for our dessert.  (left to right - Ginger, Mary, Ann, Amy, Donna and Kristi)