Friday, August 16, 2013

Where are you?

Where are you, God? When I hurt, where are you? When my family hurts, where are you? When I am angry and my human emotions become confused, where are you? When I stand in the shower and sob uncontrollably as the water pounds on my head and I shake my fist at you and scream at you....where are you? Where are you? Are you too busy to hear my prayers? I am so hurt and angry. Where are you?
This is a picture of my prayer journal on Tuesday. Even my handwriting was screaming at God. Maybe you never have days like this. Maybe you are always on an even keel. Maybe you are able to immediately put things in perspective . Obviously ... I am not one of those people. Ya think??? 

This has been a hard week. This is real life. Maybe you have times like this, too. Tuesday when I screamed for God while I was in the shower, a scene from a skit performed during jr. Hi  Discovery weekend flashed through my head. I believe Steele Cadden was Jesus that year and in my mind's eye, Courtney Brooks was the troubled teen in the skit. All during the skit, Jesus is hovering - dancing back and forth - waving his arms with "here I AM" motions....as the young girl experiences all kinds of troubles.  She never sees him until the last scene. She takes a knife and is contemplating suicide.  Jesus is frantically trying to get her attention. There are no words in the skit but it is as if Jesus is shouting, "I am right here!!!"  I've seen the skit countless times. I always cry. I'm crying as I type these words. I cried on Tuesday in the shower BECAUSE I realized that Jesus was dancing all around me - he was waving his arms - he WAS RIGHT THERE.  Jesus was speaking to me through the memory of a jr. Hi skit.  Oh sweet Jesus - he hears our cries. He wants what is best for us. He cries with us. He never harms us. He IS RIGHT WITH US even in the pain. We just have to let him in.

Deuteronomy 31:6

New International Version (NIV)

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for theLord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you

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