do you ever have "one of those" days? You know . . .you wake up . . .you KNOW without a shadow of doubt that you have so much for which to be thankful . . .you know you are loved . . .you know you are forgiven BUT you are just sad. Do you ever have "one of those" days? I'm having one today. I'll be fine. I'm a "glass half full" person. My number one strength is positivity. I'll be fine. But for the moment I'm sad. I just am. I feel like I'm losing a friendship and I don't know how to fix it. Most of my blog posts are about the fun things that I get to do as a middle-aged mom but sometimes . . .sometimes . . .life is just hard. That is all there is to it. Sometimes life is hard. I think that I always thought that by the time I was "whatever age" I am, there would not be days like this. Of course, I knew that there would be REALLY sad days. You know about those kinds of days . . .the days where a close friend dies or someone loses a job. Those are supposed to be sad days but I don't think I thought there would be days where I would be sad just because I couldn't fix something. The situation may not have anything at all to do with me. I often have to remind myself, "This is not about me." Everything in the world is not about me. I know that. I have learned that fact in my "whatever" years I've been on earth. But sometimes it feels like it is about me and I don't know how to fix it. Did I say something? Did I do something? Does it have anything at all to do with me? I've tried to "make amends" if amends even need to be made . . .since I don't know if it is "about me" . . .I don't even know how to go about fixing it.
for the friends who read this and for my sister - I'm not going off the deep end. You don't have to call me or text me. I might not even answer because I don't really want to talk. I'm really ok. I'm just sad. I felt like if I sat down and typed out these words, it might be cathartic. (ok I'm already chuckling a little - just looked up cathartic to make sure I was using it correctly and had spelled it correctly -- the word fits!!) Sad will pass. Sad will indeed pass (chuckle). I'll get busy in a little while working on my sunday school lesson and I'll feel the peace of God wash over me. I'll go out in the sunshine and smile at the pharmacist as I pick up my prescription. I'll pet the kitty cat and as I hear him purr, I'll feel better.
but for now . . .for right now . . at this moment . . .maybe for the next few hours, I am sad. plain and simple. I feel like I'm losing a friend and I don't know how to fix it. I'm just sad. do you ever have "one of those" days?