Surgery, Life, Holy Land, Who Is This Man?, Baby Emma, Doubting, Crazy Life

The title of this post is about as crazy as life has been.  Glenn asked me about my blog during one of his recent hospital stays.  I simply said, "I haven't been able to write."   Sometimes the well dries up and my well has been really dry.  This weekend, I decided to write some stuff down and just let the words tumble out . . .so here goes.  I know that God has been with our family.  We've felt his presence during all of Glenn's hospital stays and surgery.  I felt his presence when I was in Israel . . .but I have still been in a season of doubt.  I'm 57 years old and I don't think I've ever experienced such a strange season before.  I was going through all the motions of being a Christian - I went to church every Sunday; I sang the hymns; I prayed the corporate prayers; I taught/facilitated Sunday School and Tuesday nights; I went to my accountability group (this is actually where I realized I had a problem!!).  One of the things we ask each other in the accountability group is "What was your closest moment to Christ this week?" I didn't have any moments closest.  Oh, I'm sure I came up with a few . . and I'm sure that those moment probably were my closest . . but I haven't been close to Jesus in quite some time. 

Glenn has suffered from some major health concerns over the last three years.  His health had improved slightly until he suffered a setback in October.  From October through January, I felt like we were on a roller coaster.  I can't imagine what he and Lauren felt like.  On top of Glenn's health concerns, our daughter took a job out of town and purchased her first house.  (she has it fixed up soooo cute)

on top of that, our daughter-in-law is expecting our first grandchild - coming very soon!

Baby Shower this weekend

 

We also lost a dear aunt; we celebrated some milestone family birthdays; we took a mini vacation to Nashville (one night and lots of laughter); and the list goes on and on . . .now add in a faith crisis; a major surgery for Glenn and a ten day trip to Israel (and in the last 9 months - I also have a new boss and we've added another Trinity campus and the list goes on)

 

I imagine you are wishing that I didn't want to share so freely, right?

 

"What has changed?" you ask.  Oh - you didn't ask?  Well, as Mark says, "I'm going to tell you anyway."

 

While Glenn was in the hospital (three times including a stay over Halloween, a discharge on December 23 (just in time for Christmas) and surgery the week before my trip, the body of Christ stepped up and went into action.  People sat with us at the hospital; people dropped off snacks for us; people prayed; people filled up a "take them a meal" calendar before I could blink; people have showered Lauren and baby E with gifts and love; people have loved on Laura every time she has been home.  Then I went to Israel.  I walked where Jesus walked.  I sat on the teaching steps where Mary and Joseph probably walked and Jesus probably sat.  I went to Jericho where Zaccheus climbed up in the tree.  AND God quietly worked on my heart.

 

BUT God (I love those words!) BUT God wasn't finished yet.  For Lent, we started studying Who Is This Man? By John Ortberg.  I highly recommend it.  I also started reading scripture and praying in the mornings (I did it for a LOOOONG time - years - and then stopped).  This morning, as I was reading scripture (which jumps off the page now because I have been to THOSE places!!), I realized that I had prayed a long long long time ago "God, make me hungry for your words.". This morning, I realized that I was HUNGRY to read scripture.  The word is indeed alive.  God is real, y'all.  Jesus is real.  Mark and I  went to church this morning (traditional and contemporary) and Sunday School.  It was powerful today - because God is real and I was hungry to hear the word. 

 

God may not always answer our prayers the way we want . . . he might not answer them in the time frame that we expect . . but God is always with us.  He was waiting on me with open arms when I returned - he let me run right into his arms.

 

I don't know about y'all but I need Jesus.  (I know this is a preachy post - I can't help it).  I know this probably doesn't even make much sense but I just need to record what has happened.

 

The title is indeed quite fitting . . .it has been a crazy year.  BUT God continues to show up.  Praise be to God!  I definitely have some moments close to Christ now!